Corona COVID19 Chronicles: Gains and Losses

I have not turned on ESPN more than one time in about two months. Oddly I don’t miss sports and I don’t miss ESPN. Actually, I don’t have time to worry about all of the sports events that I have missed. I am too worried about remembering if I have taken my temperature two times a day and whether it is under 99.5.

I really need a haircut but I am going to be ok. Most everyone needs a haircut. We are in this “boat” together. No one has the upper hand on barber shops or beauty shops. I hope my regular hair person does not decide to leave her work as a hairdresser but if she did, I would understand. It’s rather up-close and personal kind of work. It’s the kind where a virus could be caught via unintended touching or even an untimely sneeze into the Sports Clips shop.

I have not yet had the chance to hold my new grandson, Hampton Dell Love, born March 2, 2020 in metro Columbia. It’s hard to believe but it’s true. Even so, I am ok not holding him until this crazy virus is tamed and chances of transmission from me to him are minimized to almost zero percent. I can wait.

I really missed not being with my family on Easter Sunday for worship and then a meal. I still wonder what it would have been like having two beautiful grandkids around and seeing my four adult children and other family. I watched the Easter worship service online as Riverland Hills adapts to worship outside the four walls. It has been a pleasant surprise and new twist for me to watch Sunday service on a day that I work. Online services availability did not come a day too soon for me. I am glad the COVID-19 has created one more way for my church to offer a worship experience.

On a very, very sad note, 900 MUSC employees were put on furlough, and even closer to home, 5 (five) of the furloughs happened to my chaplain colleagues. It hurt to hear and see the layoffs happen to my co-workers. COVID-19’s dastardly work has been done as I have witnessed co-workers lose income and meaning and purpose.

Maybe most importantly, the denial is wearing off and the virus has really caused a lot of heartache for individuals and families. There are real people who are losing businesses, losing health, and losing connections with their social and work circles. Loss is real and anxiety and depression are nearby, if not present. What can we do?

First, I say, grieve our losses. Grieve my own losses. They are unique to you and unique to me. No one is the same but we have losses and they are real. Second, find ways to still connect without causing potential medical harm to others or yourself. Use your phone, email, and human presence to reach out to others. Don’t let an invisible virus cause you to be invisible to others. Stay connected, even if it is six feet apart. Third, let this time be a rare chance to reevaluate your priorities in life. Ask, what is important? What are my goals? What matters and what doesn’t matter. It’s a beautiful time to step back and look at the forest rather than the trees for a change. Let this time be a chance to grow spiritually. For me I am writing a daily prayer that I share with others. It has been fascinating and so important to me to see and hear that the prayers are touching lives. Even so, my own life and prayers are touching me too. I am pondering my own words and taking “my own medicine.” It’s good for my soul. Finally, I encourage you to do an inventory of gains and losses as a result of COVID-19. I imagine it will be therapeutic to just recount your losses and recount your gains. Hopefully, this virus will subside and we can return to a degree of normalcy soon. That’s my prayer and hope.

Caregivers Using Spiritual Practices to Cope With COVID-19

March 22, 2020 was a significant day for many churches and faith groups across the country.  My own home church actually launched its first ever on-line service.  I was so glad as I was able to watch it from my work location.  It was encouraging and uplifting to see familiar faces and in one case, “make history,” by participating in the service by watching.

Regular worship attendance is a part of my journey as a hospital chaplain.  I cannot imagine what it would be like not to have a church home where I can worship, sing songs, hear music and prayers, hear scripture, and be encouraged by a challenging message from a pastor.  It is like feeding my soul each week.  I need it and it is so important to my emotional and spiritual health.

I hope you will find a way to listen to a service, sermon, music, inspirational speaker this week as you wind down an amazingly stressful week in health care settings.

One quick story:  In April 2001 I had the devastating experience of layoff from my work as a correctional chaplain at a correctional facility in South Carolina.  I remember going into the warden’s office and hearing his words, “I’m sorry, but we are going to have to lay off some of our staff and I am sorry to say that includes you that are here.”  I could not believe my ears.  Even now some people in South Carolina are hearing those same words from their hospitality and food employer, gym fitness center, and retail settings to name a few.  I imagine some of us know someone who has already had that happen to them.  It is sad.  It is hurtful to the one laid off and it effects entire family systems.  So what can we do?  Here are three quick ideas:

1.            Reconnect with your faith tradition and its resources.  Maybe this can be a time for spiritual renewal and growth.  It is already for me and I am using the time as such.

2.            Call your friends and check on them.  Do not wait for them to call you.  Maybe they need some spiritual encouragement as they deal with the stress of being newly minted “home school professors” for all of their kids.  Imagine the stress of parents who are trying to juggle work and family responsibilities.  It is almost beyond the ability of most, but with God, all things are possible.

3.            Maybe reframe and rethink some of the downtime as a way to accomplish some necessary tasks.  Maybe there is a book you have been wanting to read or even a house repair project that needs some simple but convincing attention.  Even a well deserved nap during the day may be a new opportunity that has not been available in the past.  Above all, be good to yourself and find a way to bless yourself and your life.  It’s ok to do that.

Thank you for all you are doing as a clinicians, healthcare caregivers, and EMS services.  May goodness be upon you and your family.  Amen.