Caregivers Using Spiritual Practices to Cope With COVID-19

March 22, 2020 was a significant day for many churches and faith groups across the country.  My own home church actually launched its first ever on-line service.  I was so glad as I was able to watch it from my work location.  It was encouraging and uplifting to see familiar faces and in one case, “make history,” by participating in the service by watching.

Regular worship attendance is a part of my journey as a hospital chaplain.  I cannot imagine what it would be like not to have a church home where I can worship, sing songs, hear music and prayers, hear scripture, and be encouraged by a challenging message from a pastor.  It is like feeding my soul each week.  I need it and it is so important to my emotional and spiritual health.

I hope you will find a way to listen to a service, sermon, music, inspirational speaker this week as you wind down an amazingly stressful week in health care settings.

One quick story:  In April 2001 I had the devastating experience of layoff from my work as a correctional chaplain at a correctional facility in South Carolina.  I remember going into the warden’s office and hearing his words, “I’m sorry, but we are going to have to lay off some of our staff and I am sorry to say that includes you that are here.”  I could not believe my ears.  Even now some people in South Carolina are hearing those same words from their hospitality and food employer, gym fitness center, and retail settings to name a few.  I imagine some of us know someone who has already had that happen to them.  It is sad.  It is hurtful to the one laid off and it effects entire family systems.  So what can we do?  Here are three quick ideas:

1.            Reconnect with your faith tradition and its resources.  Maybe this can be a time for spiritual renewal and growth.  It is already for me and I am using the time as such.

2.            Call your friends and check on them.  Do not wait for them to call you.  Maybe they need some spiritual encouragement as they deal with the stress of being newly minted “home school professors” for all of their kids.  Imagine the stress of parents who are trying to juggle work and family responsibilities.  It is almost beyond the ability of most, but with God, all things are possible.

3.            Maybe reframe and rethink some of the downtime as a way to accomplish some necessary tasks.  Maybe there is a book you have been wanting to read or even a house repair project that needs some simple but convincing attention.  Even a well deserved nap during the day may be a new opportunity that has not been available in the past.  Above all, be good to yourself and find a way to bless yourself and your life.  It’s ok to do that.

Thank you for all you are doing as a clinicians, healthcare caregivers, and EMS services.  May goodness be upon you and your family.  Amen.

The Hospital: A Place to be Fully Human

I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have had to work and train in a hospital setting. I began my clinical pastoral education in 1999 and have been actively involved in chaplaincy as a hospital chaplain since then for almost that entire time. What’s most amazing to me is the fact that hospitals and hospital staff work at ground zero. This includes trauma calls, end of life, new diagnoses, mental health crises, and even routine surgeries. All of it seems rather “down to earth.” In a way, working at ground zero, the hospital ER and hospital rooms, has given me the opportunity to be with folks at some of the most emotionally and physically rawest moments in life. As such, I work to encourage my patients to own their full humanity while I at the same time try to be fully human with them in their hospitalization. It’s the greatest gift I can offer. It’s the gift of accepting my fellow human being as being fully human. As COVID-19 shakes the world, I believe that being fully human is the way to live in and through this worldwide crisis. It means acknowledging my own fear and worry and tending to the worry and fear and anxiety of others. There is no need to “spin it” positively when the situation is very concerning at the least. So, living my fully human life with my fellow humans, family members, neighbors, co-workers, and strangers is the way for me. I want to help and be helped. We all need help in our ways and we all can give help to those in our paths and circles. Finally, being fully human does not negate my spiritual life. Instead, my spiritual beliefs give me hope, comfort and grace. These spiritual gifts serve to help me appreciate my true humanity even more. I seek to own my true feelings amidst this crisis while at the same time remembering I am not alone. In fact, it seems to me that COVID-19 is helping me and others to connect with people in ways that maybe could not even be possible before this event. That’s the silver lining from this virus that I hope subsides and passes, sooner than later. I believe we are all in this together.

Homecoming Service - Dallas Baptist Church - Dallas, NC - September 29, 2019

It was my honor and joy to share the message for the homecoming service at Dallas Baptist Church.  

http://dallasbaptist.net/2019/09/30/homecoming-september-29-2019/?fbclid=IwAR1j4c2dRgsQGUULIZ3hTsQoSN1dGI604xN0Q6GVE--E4J0S48aySzpusvM

The Middle Ground Is Undervalued

Moderate approaches to life don't make the headlines.  It's the extremes that make the news many times.  Even bases and acids have to produce the right mix to allow for pure water.  A centered lifestyle allows for a good mix of rationale and emotion, mixed in with a good dose of spirituality and a healthy appreciation for the mystery of life.  People like John McCain had enemies on both sides of the political aisles.  Jesus did as well as he talked with religious people from all walks of life.  I am a centrist and a happy one.  It's a good place.  I don't like to sell my soul to those who need or demand absolute allegiance, other than to God.  The middle lets me hear various opinions on new housing versus maintaining lively green spaces.  The middle ground helps me to own my humanness while keeping in touch spiritually and rationally.  I am a middle child, well sort of, as I have an older sister, and older fraternal twin brother and a younger sister.  I assume that would make me a card-carrying middle child.  Jesus said, "blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God."  I realize that life will demand fierce competition and strong stances on occasion.  Yet, more times than not, the middle is the better place, even with a little wiggle room to the right and to the left as necessary.  It's a good thing that the sun rises and it sets.  I don't think constant 90 degree sun would work well, although 10 hours of it in the summertime sounds like a great day to me.  So, I continue to seek middle ground, peace, and harmony as I am able.   One day all creation will be brought home to God and all Creation will find the ultimate middle ground where the wolf and lamb will lie down and the adder and young child will play side by side.  Sign me up.

The Rhythm of Believing and Doing

In the Gospel of of John, chapter six, the disciples ask Jesus what work they must do and Jesus says the simple word, "believe." He told them to believe and that would be the work. It's a mixture of some ideas and it's simple yet profound. The work is to believe. Really, that simple, really?

Yet, once the work is done, it becomes a matter of living life. It's pretty routine sometimes. Believe and then go forward, boldly into life. Enjoy your breakfast. Talk to family and friends on the phone. Pray. Contemplate. Slow down. Enjoy the day off. Open your heart to someone you may not really like very much. Take the trash to the county dump. Get up and go to work. Do your job. Trust that the best is yet to come. It seems to me that once "believing" has occurred, then the assurance of God's presence and help in the world is a matter of God's commitment to people. Yes, God is there and God helps and God leads. But, the choosing and doing is all a matter of choice.

So, the veil between the deep spiritual connection with God and the joy of living life is a truly thin one. There is unity between believing God and brushing one's teeth. They are connected. There is no separation. God is present in the believing and God is present when I took my trash to the dump this morning.

I guess the key is this: Believe. That's where everything starts but its all connected. One life. One body. God with me. God with you.

Tweaking Golf's Short Game: Intuition and Practice

Last weekend I had the joy of going to the golf range, with my son, and getting some much needed practice.  It was fun to see him make consistent, long straight drives between 230 and 250 yards.  My drives were a bit shorter but both of us are somewhat consistent drivers.  It’s fun to stay with one’s best club (the driver) and enjoy the regular payoff of a good drive.  It feels good to hit the ball well, but the truth be known, it’s one’s weakness that really adds strokes to the final score.  For me that’s my short game from 50 yards out to the green and flag.  There is no doubt I add more strokes to my score around and on the greens. 

At the range I made a concerted effort to hit numerous balls with my pitching wedge.  It’s one of the most important clubs in the bag:  driver, pitching wedge, and putter probably the top three.   I was pleasantly surprised at the positive shot results as I “intuitively tweaked” my pitching wedge backswing and club speed.  It took some really bad shots to help me realize where and how to make some needed tweaks.  Practice pays dividends.  Intuition helps with deciding what changes to make.  My golf short game needs a lot of work.   New insights and results happened when I made a change or two.  In this case, I shortened my pitching wedge back swing and it gave me more control of the ball speed and direction.  It felt good to see visible results. 

Intution is a gift that all humans can tap.  It’s that inner knowledge that leads one in a better direction when facing challenge or change.  Intuition is something that can be gently held as it ever so subtly leads one forward with new goals and vision.  Practice doesn’t hurt either.  Playing is one sure way to improve.  Practice does make perfect as the saying goes.   Lowering my stroke numbers from 50 yards out will make golf more fun for me.  Tweaking my game is on me.   Intuition and practice should be two of the best friends of the weekend golfer.  

Opportunities and Growth

Fear is good—sometimes.   I continually face new challenges at work and in life.  I have learned to engage the challenge and to move boldly forward into the experience.  Perfection is never the goal.  The greatest MLB baseball batting average is around .360 (Ty Cobb).  That’s a hit once every three at bats.  The goal is to do one’s best with the gifts and knowledge that one has to bring to a challenge.   Making a difference by showing true care, lovingkindness, and even courage will usually be enough.  Perfection may come or it may not happen. The goal is to step up to the plate and do one’s best.    The only thing to fear is fear itself as one wise person said many years ago.   Good luck and blessings to you and to me as life gives us great opportunities to live, to love, to challenge, and to show courage in the midst of adversity.  Amen.