A Grief Reflection on Mother Emanuel AME Church

Rev. George M. Rossi
June 23, 2015

In her book, “Grief: Contemporary Theory and The Practice of Ministry,”(2010) Dr. Melissa Kelley uses the colorful visual of a mosaic and individual glass shards that make it so beautiful and abstract.  From an artistic perspective, each shard is one part of the larger story.  Each colored shard is used to create a whole, colorful piece of work so that the viewer strongly feels the vibrancy of the artwork.  Yet, grief and loss are like that too.  Loss happens one loss at a time and in one specific way at a time.  Even our knowledge of loss changes over time as information is shared from the media, the survivors and the first responder community.  One’s mosaic (metaphor for loss and life) is broken and shattered.  Life and loss move pieces and stories of our lives to the edge of the mosaic.  It is easy to become depressed, sad, lost, or not have a way to make meaning of all that has happened at Mother Emanuel AME.  A once whole piece of art is now broken.  It is life and it involves loss and just recognizing that fact is so, so very important.

Working and living in South Carolina has put me rather close to the senseless tragedy at Mother  Emanuel AME Church.  I am learning more about the losses.  For example, it was shocking to learn that the gunman killed the pastor of the church.  That is such a rare tragedy and almost too shocking to believe, yet that is what happened.  Next, the tragedy and violence happened in a church where 9 innocent people died and that is beyond belief too.  Even as I attended church on Sunday June 21, just four days afterward, I was having conversations with family and friends about the safety of faith communities and the people who worship in those.  The small glass piece of “safety and security” had been moved to the outer edge of the mosaic.  It was no longer a deep, centered part of the whole and instead it was now a fragment, scattered, and in the process of becoming meaning-less (lost its purpose and place).

So, what can we do?  First, I suggest we recognize that your Life and my Life is a beautiful mosaic.  It's colorful and has a rich, deep and lovely story.  Second, the mosaic has pieces that have moved to the edge of the artwork (life and loss).  Those pieces are important.  When people die those pieces move out and never come back.  Third, we can remember those pieces both intuitively and instrumentally.  Grief is emotional (intuitive) for some and others are more likely to cope instrumentally by doing something (Kelley).  Finally, we can name those losses and pieces of the artwork where loss has happened.  For me I am most impacted by the fact that a very troubled and misguided person killed 9 people in a church while having Bible study and prayer in what is commonly considered a place of peace, serenity and hope (the church building and it gospel mission).  The once strongly held belief of security and hope at Church has been challenged and disputed by a very emotionally and troubled young man who needs redemption.  Even such, we can take our stories and inter-wind it with the greater narrative of Emanuel AME with our own narrative.  Change has happened.  Innocent people have died.  Security and safety are being questioned.  Loss is real.  May we have strength to embrace our losses so that we can be stronger, more purposeful, and even more greatly committed to the love ethic of our faith.  Amen.

Dear God:  I pray you will help me write a new narrative of hope and love even after the painful and devastating events that have happened at Mother AME Emanuel Church.  Amen.

“Working and Learning Together:  We Need Each Other”

Rev. George M. Rossi

One of my daughters recently sent me a note saying that the Peace Corp (PC) wants to employ and use more Baby Boomers (BB).  They want to double its Baby Boomer work force numbers.  About 7% of the workforce in the PC is a Baby Boomer BB and they want 14% I suppose and calculate.  I responded to my daughter by saying:  “Well of course they do, given the work experience, life experience and education (and resources)” of many.  I think it is a great idea on two important levels.  First, intergenerational learning and collaboration is a great need for many companies and many people.  We can learn so much from those who are younger and older than ourselves.  We just need an opportunity to get together, talk, discuss, collaborate and just appreciate other people who may be much younger or much older.  Both groups need each other.  Secondly, the BB group (1946-64) is retiring in great numbers now and will continue for the next 10-12 or so years, maybe more, when the younger BB’s reach age 65.  A fair number of my older ministerial friends have retired or will retire soon.  I recently wrote a research paper on ministers and retirement.  Needless to say there is not a lot of research out there on that topic.  Yet, there is a huge amount of research that says that BB’s (or any older group in any generation for that matter) needs opportunity to be engaged, continue to have meaning, and to find ways to give life back to the community.  

Here is South Carolina we have short leaf and long leaf pines everywhere.  Many of them, when mature and reach “older age” will produce a large number of pine cones.  I have seen some of these trees with top-heavy amounts of pine cones.  For me it is a picture of generativity and productivity.  The older tree is able to give back its best to the land and ecological system after years of growth, struggle, and success.  The same is true for older persons and retirees.  Our communities and societies need ways for senior adults to productively reinvest what they have learned and distilled through life’s lessons.  Giving back could be rewarding and fun too.  It can also be a way to travel and to help others at the same time.  I look forward to the years ahead as I try to give back now and in the future the many learned lessons that makes life joyful and purposeful for me.   As for the Peace Corp I need to think more about that!